Father takes away 14-year-old daughter’s bedroom and gives it to his newborn son. INCONCLUSIVE
AITA for taking away my daughters bedroom and giving it to my son?
I(M32) have a daughter Harper(F14) from a previous relationship. I have full custody and her mom is not involved in her life.
5 years ago I married my wife Nina(F31) we tried to have a child but couldn't. We went to the doctor and turned out I can't have anymore kids due to some complications. We decided to use an sperm donor and the result was a son, Mark, who was born a few months ago.
The problems started when Nina got pregnant. Harper wasn't happy about it. When Mark was born things got worse. Before this Harper and I used to spend 2 days a week together, just the 2 of us without my wife but after Mark was born I couldn't do that anymore. I can't just leave my wife alone for 2 days a week with a newborn and Harper has been very angry about it.
The main problem started 3 days ago. Nina and I decided to make a nursery for Mark instead of having him in our bedroom for multiple reasons.
Our home has 4 bedrooms, 2 master bedrooms at one side and 2 bedrooms at the other side. One of the master rooms is ours, the other one is Harpers. It was very hard for Nina and I to go to the other side of the home multiple times at night when Mark wakes up so I asked Harper pack her stuff and go to one of the bedrooms so that we could give her room to Mark. At first everything seemed alright. She said ok and went to her room and started packing but less than an hour later my brother showed up at our home, asking for Harper. She had called him and asked him to take her. She came out of her room with her stuff, told me "you can give it to your son now" and left with my brother. I told her she could only go for one night but it has been 3 days and she is not back and wont even talk to me.
Im receiving calls from my family all calling me an AH and other names.
I dont trust their judgement, they very clearly favor Harper. She was the first grandchild in our family and everyone's favorite also they are trying to accept Mark as my son but I could see that they haven't been able yet so I decided to post here and get some unbiased opinions. AITA?
Edit: Here is the update that I promised
I realized I've messed up so I went to my brothers home and tried to get Harper back but he didn't even let me see her, saying she doesn't want to see me.
He said he would only let her go back if:
She wanted to go with me
We move to another home close to their home because they wanted to have Harper close to them to keep an eye on her and make sure we are treating her right, we used to live very close to them but when I got married my wife and family didn't get along so we moved somewhere farther away which made Harper very sad.
Harper will get to choose which bedroom she wants in our new home
I should spend 1 on 1 time with Harper at least one day a week
Which I accepted.
This caused a lot of problems since my wife doesn't like some of those conditions. she thinks they are not reasonable. She got angry, took Mark and went to her parents home and is staying there so now I'm also receiving texts from my inlaws calling me an AH.
Right now Im looking for a new home that is closer to my brother's home
I called Harper and my brother convinced her to talk to me for once. she was crying the whole time while telling me that she felt like I didn't want her anymore. Hearing her cry like that really broke my heart. I honestly never meant to hurt her.
After so many apologies and gifts she finally agreed to see me. I will go to my brother's home everyday to spend time with Her. She has also finally agreed to come home with me when I find a new home.
Reminder — I am not the original poster.