r/Eyebleach Oct 07 '22 Silver 7 Helpful 3 Wholesome 6 Take My Energy 1 Wholesome Seal of Approval 1 Kiss 1

License and Registration, please.

45.5k Upvotes

1.5k

u/NefariouslyHot666 Oct 07 '22

How are alpacas even real

511

u/wojtekpolska Oct 07 '22

alien lifeform, that fluff couldnt have evolved naturally on earth

315

u/llama_llover Oct 07 '22 edited Oct 07 '22

They are domesticated versions of Vicuñas another South American Camelid. 6000 years ago people started breeding them for their fiber (wool). So, you are correct, they are not evolved natural. Humans created them.

157

u/savvyblackbird Oct 07 '22

Here’s the Vicuña Wiki with photos for anyone else who is interested in seeing what they look like.

Imagine a deer/llama with a giraffe neck.

29

u/DancesWithBadgers Oct 07 '22

A llama with a military haircut.

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28

u/Aramis14 Oct 07 '22

Username checks out

15

u/Connorgon Oct 07 '22

Crazy thing I learned when I visited Peru is that Vicuñas have far softer fur, to the point that a shirt made out of their fur was thousands of USD. Vicuñas also have not been successfully raised in captivity, which explains the price

2

u/CryptidKay Oct 07 '22

The more you know...

42

u/apparition88 Oct 07 '22

Upvoted because I like learning!

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3

u/Disneyman1234 Oct 07 '22

Or by the same logic, God.

186

u/Skordz Oct 07 '22

Man, I was driving in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere Australia the other week. Came around a corner and seen at least 50 Alpacas chilling in a field. Thought i was seeing shit.

21

u/rhodopensis Oct 07 '22

It’s a fluff-filled miracle! Wow though, did they come closer to you?

5

u/Mariwina Oct 07 '22

How magical

3

u/GenerationNULL Oct 08 '22

Driving through Australia sounds like a hell of a trip

93

u/Eyebrowchild Oct 07 '22

I think this is an EXTREMELY floofy llama! I thought it was an alpaca too

46

u/Tapingdrywallsucks Oct 07 '22

I thought the forehead floof indicated alpaca.

41

u/mark_b Oct 07 '22

Alpacas have small, blunt faces with short triangular ears, while llamas have more-elongated faces with banana-shaped ears.

30

u/_jamesbaxter Oct 07 '22

I think it’s too small to be a llama, llamas are double the size of an alpaca!

17

u/Eyebrowchild Oct 07 '22

Ah! I saw the face and thought llama, it probably is an alpaca

7

u/Moonstream93 Oct 07 '22

I've worked with llamas for years, and had some contact with alpacas as well, and it's really damn hard to tell for me, especially because of how massively overgrown it's coat is. Face says likely llama, ears say definitely llama, forehead fibre says probably alpaca. Size and back shape I would not take into account on this one because it has SO MUCH fibre, that you really can't get a good gage on its actual size and body shape.

2

u/_jamesbaxter Oct 07 '22

Oh interesting! I guess I’ve only seen them on farms where they are regularly sheared in which case it’s pretty easy to tell based on size. Now that you’ve pointed that out I realize I probably wouldn’t be able to tell a small llama from an XL alpaca even sheared though 😅

5

u/Moonstream93 Oct 07 '22

Here's an easy test: if you look at its face and go "awwwwwww!" that's probably an alpaca. If you look at its face and go "Of course, sir. The reports are on your desk and accounting is working on next quarter's projections," that's probably a llama.

2

u/_jamesbaxter Oct 07 '22

😂🤣😂🤣 I’m going to try that technique at my soonest opportunity!

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2

u/QueenSnowTiger Oct 07 '22

Can llamas and alpacas cross breed? Could it be a mix?

3

u/rogue_noob Oct 07 '22

If it is, I suggest we call it a Llampaca (I don't know if they can and if they have a name for the hybrid, but I like the sound of Llampaca for an hybrid or even any individual that's showing features of the other species)

3

u/CryptidKay Oct 07 '22

Llampaca sounds like a wonderful native dance!!

2

u/Moonstream93 Oct 07 '22

Ah, yes they can. I've never seen one (to my knowledge), but crosses do exist. It's my understanding (I'm a llama person, I don't know that much about alpacas or mixes) that they're somewhat useless so they're not common.

Llamas are brave and tough, they're used as guard animals for herds of sheep and goats as well as pack animals, but their fibre has hair in it which makes it scratchy and bad for making into yarn.

Alpacas are timid and flighty, so not suitable as guard animals, and much smaller than llamas so not as good for pack animals. Their fibre has no hair (again, as I understand it, I didn't work with them) and so is DIVINE as yarn(can confirm that part, though).

A mix would be a worse guard or pack animal than a llama and have worse fibre than an alpaca. Since both are very social creatures and usually live in herds it would be cruel to just have one animal anyways, it just makes sense to have both alpacas and llamas if you need something to fill the roles of each instead of mixing them into a less effective animal.

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23

u/Ann_Summers Oct 07 '22

Clearly you’re confused sir, that’s a cloud.

6

u/taintedcake Oct 07 '22

Size and the fluff are indicative of an alpaca imo. Llama's get fluffy, but have a much coarser and less floof looking appearance when they do.

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17

u/llama_llover Oct 07 '22

I’d llove to agree with you, but this is an alpaca.

3

u/hilfyRau Oct 07 '22

You are a gem.

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15

u/RadRhys2 Oct 07 '22

They’re literally just fluffy camels

12

u/Bluepompf Oct 07 '22

We made them. Same as sheeps or dogs. We just like cute animals I guess.

7

u/ExCap2 Oct 07 '22

Well you see child, when a Camel fucks a Sheep...

27

u/nevemno Oct 07 '22

I'm pretty sure this is cgi.

9

u/karatebullfighter Oct 07 '22

Hans Wormhat joins the chat.

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307

u/Sigvard08 Oct 07 '22

FLUUUUUUUF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

776

u/realistic_swede Oct 07 '22

He is fabulous and he knows it. 🦙

158

u/eyearu Oct 07 '22

He's got that royal gait

1.6k

u/Stavinair Oct 07 '22

AAAAA IT'S SO FLUFFY!!!!!!!!!! 💙

399

u/fambestera Oct 07 '22

I'M GONNA DIE!!!!

104

u/BigPackHater Oct 07 '22

IT'S KILLING YOU!!!

63

u/Sir_Nicholas_4 Oct 07 '22

Caaaaaaarrrrrllll!

25

u/hyf5 Oct 07 '22

That kills peopllllleeeee!

3

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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-9

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22 edited Oct 07 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/ashu7 Oct 07 '22

When being cute is a crime

85

u/ImPretendingToCare Oct 07 '22

its a walking cloud

20

u/Whothefuckshatinmybr Oct 07 '22

I want to sleep on it!!!! Aaaaaaa!

3

u/mad_fishmonger Oct 07 '22

Looks so huggable!!

188

u/Significant-Set8457 Oct 07 '22

Or hand over any foods you got.

115

u/Cessnaporsche01 Oct 07 '22

Or any hands. His tummy is feeling the rumblies that only hands can satisfy.

65

u/the-unfamous-one Oct 07 '22

CAAAAARRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLL

37

u/GreatLonk Oct 07 '22

NO CAARL THAT KILLS PEOPLE!!

5

u/Majikarpslayer Oct 07 '22

Had to scroll to far to see this!

3

u/savvyblackbird Oct 07 '22

What’s the Carl thing from?

9

u/crazyabe111 Oct 07 '22

Lamas with Hats, Episode 1.

7

u/Ditto132 Oct 07 '22

It’s from a series of YouTube videos called “Llamas with Hats”

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396

u/Daga-san Oct 07 '22

That's a chonky looking boy

194

u/ledocteur7 Oct 07 '22

that ain't no chonk, that's 100% natural fluff !

62

u/lex_fr Oct 07 '22

29

u/keebler79 Oct 07 '22

Immediately subscribes

10

u/Mr-Mystery-Guest Oct 07 '22

10,000 members and nothing but cats

573

u/PugiM0 Oct 07 '22

He's lucky he didn't get spit in his eye and told to stop resisting.

32

u/savvyblackbird Oct 07 '22

My mom took my brother and I to this cool petting zoo when we were kids. There were fenced in pastures that had dirt roads on the perimeter so you could walk around and pet the animals that came over for pets.

My parents taught us since we were small children to not annoy animals or chase them. At the end of the road was an area where the animals were free to roam the property. I walked by a barn, and there was a llama sitting at the end of the barn. When she saw me she spit on my before I even saw her.

It got on my face and on my shirt. The barn worker helped me get it off my face, but I had to wear a llama vomit shirt for the rest of the day. It smelled sooo bad. The llama vomit really burned too.

4

u/Felwinter12 Oct 08 '22

I had a large ape fling poo at me in a zoo. I knew they were strong and had time to back away, but they can yeet way tf farther than I thought and, thankfully, it barely fell short. The moral of the story is, sometimes animals are just bitchy.

6

u/Schmotz Oct 07 '22

He wasn't eating a McDonald's

3

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22 edited Oct 07 '22

[deleted]

72

u/Eatdisco Oct 07 '22

Oh an alpaca will absolutely spit on you.

89

u/stinkopinko22 Oct 07 '22

I stayed on a alpaca farm this year and they only spit during for food competition but I absolutely got caught in the cross fire feeding them. Also didn’t like getting their heads touched at all.

Also they are very clean animals and pooped in communal piles believe it or not.

58

u/Starlight_NightWing Oct 07 '22 edited Oct 07 '22

Yup, they poop AND piss in communal piles Edit: They also have dust baths regularly

41

u/stinkopinko22 Oct 07 '22

Just like my family 🥰

3

u/Strummer101er Oct 07 '22

I always admired that about you guys.

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4

u/aedroogo Oct 07 '22

Yup, they poop AND piss in communal piles

Around here we call them 'subreddits'.

2

u/LindaBitz Oct 07 '22

Danger scritches

5

u/DangerousLoner Oct 07 '22

Fuzzy camels!

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3

u/haliax69 Oct 07 '22

Maybe he's into the kind of stuff

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46

u/NotGraybirb Oct 07 '22

that is one fluffy lad

244

u/akaihana13 Oct 07 '22

Why is it so thiccc

115

u/arathorn867 Oct 07 '22

Because it recently came down to the mountain from the sky. Clouds do be thick

32

u/Mumrider Oct 07 '22

Cold outside

-1

u/AHornyRubberDucky Oct 07 '22

Because its not being shaved. Humans domesticated llama's an because we kept shaving their wool it now just keeps growing.

41

u/Z370H370 Oct 07 '22

Aladdin "careful, they spit"

-20

u/EstablishmentLevel17 Oct 07 '22

Don't worry. It's an alpaca . No worries about the spitties with those lol

35

u/mr-mobius Oct 07 '22

My wife stayed at an airBnB the night before we got married. There were two Alpacas in the field right behind who were friendly to everyone but the wedding videographer who got spat on. Also the only person working at the wedding my dog didn't immediately like, strangely enough.

27

u/MangoesDeep Oct 07 '22

He was clearly a serial killer.

6

u/slaughterpuss25 Oct 07 '22

Maybe the camera put the animals off? Either that or he's got some skeletons in his closet and the animals can tell

3

u/mr-mobius Oct 07 '22

They didn't spit at the two photographers who had the same camera model so we're suspicious of some hidden past.

14

u/B00o_ Oct 07 '22

They do spit

14

u/literallymate Oct 07 '22

Few comments above you says alpacas will absolutely spit.

9

u/priscillajones02 Oct 07 '22

https://petkeen.com/do-alpacas-spit/ they do spit but it’s rare with humans

5

u/Strummer101er Oct 07 '22

I've spit on an alpaca before.

86

u/crazyabe111 Oct 07 '22

Ah that’s just Paul, he’s looking for his hat and his “friend” Carl.

33

u/wretchedwilly Oct 07 '22

“I had the rumblies, for which only hands could satisfy.”

8

u/adale_50 Oct 07 '22

That's the lovely, elderly couple from 2B.

5

u/lsoults Oct 07 '22

I thought it was boat nectar.

15

u/Thubanshee Oct 07 '22

Awwwwwwwwwwwww

13

u/edificeraks Oct 07 '22

That's a Handsome lad right there.

11

u/LitreOfCockPus Oct 07 '22

Catsheephorse requires your adoration.

10

u/somber_winds Oct 07 '22

Chunky fluff

31

u/3lixir_on_reddit Oct 07 '22

"You got any games on your phone?"

9

u/DJRoombasRoomba Oct 07 '22

Every single time I see one of these it always looks like a couple guys in a costume. My brain just can't accept that these things exist lol

Especially the one with the pink bow in its hair in the little Chinese restaurant or whatever lol like why

8

u/Shubham-0012 Oct 07 '22

i wanna hug that huge boy.

7

u/craftynerd Oct 07 '22

As a knitter I see all the potential sweaters, floofy socks, scarves, and touques I could make.

I have a dream alpaca farm where I get to love my sweet alpacas and they willingly get sheared in the spring. And I give them fun haircuts.

Having been around alpacas I know this is an unlikely future, but that's why it's called a dream...

8

u/Baaraa88 Oct 07 '22

What a polite lad

6

u/Theleming Oct 07 '22

It's goddamn gorgeous

7

u/Raging_Carrot47 Oct 07 '22

Usually you can only pass if you offer a chocolate chip cookie (speaking from experience).

6

u/always_deaming22 Oct 07 '22

No way... They spit, You don't know when it's coming, and it's a huge nasty loogie... I stay away from these, my wife and kids think I'm crazy but they will see...

2

u/izguddoggo Oct 07 '22

I was working on an alpaca farm for a few months and when you get to learn each individual well enough you can tell when it’s coming. And you can start to hear a gurgle as it travels up. The deeper and longer the gurgle, the worse it’s going to smell because they don’t have any fresh cud to spit- it’s coming from down deep and has been partially digested already. It’s rancid 🤣 given, this whole process only takes maybe 2 seconds, but those are precious moments when facing such a horrific smell as you’re aware!

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10

u/Mici_yeet Oct 07 '22

My goodness you can't tell me that animal isn't smiling - its definitely smiling LOOKIT! xD

10

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '22

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10

u/channyfanny123 Oct 07 '22

Sir would you like to get your car lamanated?

14

u/Murphy-B Oct 07 '22

Or llamanated?

3

u/JuniorKing9 Oct 07 '22

What a fluffy cloudy friend

4

u/MarlythAvantguarddog Oct 07 '22

That would be in my boot and then my garden pronto.

6

u/SuperBoop11 Oct 07 '22

He's had quite a few donuts this morning.

4

u/python_510 Oct 07 '22

👮‍♀️🚨

4

u/Normal_Diamond3067 Oct 07 '22

Como se llama?

5

u/fambestera Oct 07 '22

That has to be the fluffiest one I ever witnessed.

2

u/EgonVox Oct 07 '22

He's got a gun he's got a gun

Spits at you

2

u/reamde_txt Oct 07 '22

You must Finish your work Carl.

2

u/Raven123x Oct 07 '22

"Do not resist or alpaca punch"

2

u/Mija_Cogeo Oct 07 '22

I would not be able to resist the urge to pet it.

2

u/aakaakaak Oct 07 '22

Alpaca: Llamanated license and registration please. You were speeding.

Driver: It's alpaca lies I tell you!

2

u/NocturnalGorillas Oct 07 '22

That’s literally how every drag queens and Freddie Mercury walks

2

u/elemenno50 Oct 07 '22

Such dainty feet

2

u/LegendOfDarius Oct 07 '22

The legendary CHONKEPAKA

2

u/markth_wi Oct 07 '22

/r/rimworld would probably get a kick out of this....and perhaps 3 or 4 cowboy hats.

2

u/Quick_Masterpiece_58 Oct 07 '22

That poor baby needs a haircut

2

u/TrashyLad Oct 07 '22

id let him take me to jail. very polite looking

2

u/Euphoric-Ad-3715 Oct 07 '22

“So, I started blasting…”

4

u/Ziomownik Oct 07 '22

That seems so dangerous. At least the animal is cute

3

u/Steveobiwanbenlarry1 Oct 07 '22

"Where we going bro? Alpaca my things!"

3

u/NRNstephaniemorelli Oct 07 '22

That floofster really need a shear, I wonder how long the coat has grown, as in the amount of time not length.

2

u/Luiiisnick Oct 07 '22

That's one heckin chonk

2

u/sleepy-lama098 Oct 07 '22

THAT. IS THE FLUFFIEST LLAMA (or alpaca) I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE🦙🦙

2

u/areaunknown_ Oct 07 '22

Omg he’s so cute 😭

2

u/charmolin Oct 07 '22

Aaaaaaaw too cute to handle

1

u/rageagainstbedtime Oct 07 '22

But that's an alpaca, not a pig...

0

u/Fuzzy_Boysenberry_76 Oct 07 '22

“Inspector Chuncky Llama reporting duty sir!” 👮

1

u/acldesmo Oct 07 '22

He’s a cutie! ♥️

1

u/TamborineRock Oct 07 '22

License and registration please step outta the car. Are ya carrying a weapon on ya? I know a lot of you are

1

u/Maelshevek Oct 07 '22

I want to be friends with him.

1

u/TakeOnMe-TakeOnMe Oct 07 '22

Ah yes, a llaman, out here protecting the llas.

1

u/Yeafam7945 Oct 07 '22

SpiT 🤌

1

u/ErinBusiness Oct 07 '22

So HE’s the guy who’s been trying to reach me about my cars extended warranty! 👋🏾💜🤌🏾😂

1

u/Kidgen Oct 07 '22

Meet me in the desert. Alpaca lunch.

1

u/locomike1219 Oct 07 '22

"sir, I'm going to need you to surrender any Guinea pigs you might have hidden. Do you consent to a search?"

1

u/DancingBears88 Oct 07 '22

May I see your party papers?

1

u/goldbutthole Oct 07 '22

The floofiest of floofs :3

1

u/Bisonfan1 Oct 07 '22

Just turn backkkk

1

u/JennaFrost Oct 07 '22

Ah yes, tall sheep

1

u/SmokingFromage Oct 07 '22

I can’t be the only one who thinks this looks like Michael Alpackson

1

u/preinternetdad Oct 07 '22

Can you drop me off in Colorado? Alpaca lunch for the ride!

1

u/TeslaFanBoy8 Oct 07 '22

His hand is touching his holster already.

1

u/Thebardofthegingers Oct 07 '22

Poor guy, must be boiling in all that fur, I'm sure it's insulated but it still looks heavy and hot.

1

u/-komineko Oct 07 '22

looks kinda scrumptous

1

u/HarmonicEagle Oct 07 '22

Can they be dangerous?

1

u/Leakyrooftops Oct 07 '22

I cop that I would actually like to hug

1

u/Maciekssspl Oct 07 '22

spits in your face

1

u/vertexbacon Oct 07 '22

If only my apartment allowed llamas

1

u/cyaneyed Oct 07 '22

Its alpacking

1

u/adale_50 Oct 07 '22

That's a quality floof. So kind.

1

u/simonf3nix Oct 07 '22

Leveled up pokemon

1

u/Sweet-Berry-1962 Oct 07 '22

It's so cute and squeezable me want one

1

u/ADXC Oct 07 '22

“You know why I pulled you over, son?”

1

u/Napstablook_Rebooted Oct 07 '22

That's Carl! You better run!

1

u/Holyvision Oct 07 '22

Something bad probably happened nearby…. Cause you know…

….Caaaaaaaaaaarll…??!

1

u/Storae Oct 07 '22

Where can I rent this vacation resort? Alpaca my bags.

1

u/TRex1188 Oct 07 '22

Animal rights activist: Must surrender

1

u/RedownBader Oct 07 '22

I love giraffe sheep ❤️

1

u/illpixill Oct 07 '22

Alpaca you officer!

1

u/Important_Ice_1080 Oct 07 '22

Getting pulled over in Peru be like 🇵🇪

1

u/MyCatsNameisGibson Oct 07 '22

Animals are incredible. Trips me out sometimes that they're real.