r/PoliticalHumor • u/bucketwilliams3 • Mar 23 '23
What kind of research are they doing over there at Fox
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u/AdvancedHat7630 Mar 23 '23
FIRST THEY CAME FOR THE LADY M&M
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u/DonsDiaperIsFull Mar 23 '23
and I did not speak out, because I was not a lady M&M.
Then they came for the dick veins, because that's what makes horny republicans cum.
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u/lost_in_connecticut Mar 23 '23
Next there will be no nuts in my almond joy. When will this horror end?
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u/sunward_Lily Mar 23 '23
"putting nuts in your mouth is gay!"
-Abraham Lincoln (as cited by Faux News)
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u/adam_demamps_wingman Mar 23 '23
“Four scores and seven johns ago…”
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u/Graterof2evils Mar 24 '23
We’re talking the johns we can play footsies under the stalls in now right? Right? Scores right?
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u/supra_kl Mar 24 '23
I hear they're getting rid of the creamy white filling from Bounty bars. This is woke-ism gone too far!
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u/DonsDiaperIsFull Mar 24 '23
Tucker definitely loves white creaming fillings as much as he loves big dick veins.
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u/CRL10 Mar 24 '23
What? Not the white goo! When Tucker Carlson sticks something big, thick and chocolate in his mouth, he wants the white goo. His mouth works hard to get the white goo from the chocolate. That's the best part for him.
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u/EfficiencyOk2208 Mar 24 '23
Then they came for Tucker Carlson's reminder of Rupert Murdocks dick vain in his mouth.
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u/bitemy Mar 24 '23
This funny but fake, in case anyone was (understandably) confused
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/did-snickers-remove-a-dick-vein/
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u/n00dleknight Mar 24 '23
Is it sad that I was fully ready to believe Snickers wasn't smoothing their bars before I was sure that Tucker didn't report on it anyway?
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u/TwistedBamboozler Mar 23 '23
I can’t tell if this is real or not lol
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u/Rewrite_Mean_Comment Mar 23 '23
It’s fake. Pretty clearly in my opinion, but mostly because of the word choices in the bottom bar. You really think faux news would use the word beloved when referring to the word dick?
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u/Dcajunpimp I ☑oted 2024 Mar 23 '23
That's true. FQX and Tucker refuse to speak the honest truth in their programs.
No way Tucker admitting he likes a chocolate bar with a beloved dick vein.
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u/Morningxafter Mar 24 '23
If Snickers really were doing this they’d claim the liberals demanded it be removed because it’s triggering trans women’s dysphoria, or that it’s offensive to man-hating feminists or something. Then you’d see a bunch of dipshits on Facebook claiming that liberals are canceling Snickers. The headline would be “The Liberals’ War on Chocolate”.
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u/PockysLight Mar 23 '23
You really think faux news would use the word beloved when referring to the word dick
To be fair, we have seen stranger.
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u/25plus44 Mar 24 '23
On Tucker "Be sure to tan your testicles to enhance your masculinity" Carlson's show?
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u/Rewrite_Mean_Comment Mar 24 '23
Yes. See, the messaging in these two examples are opposites to the conservative viewer. One is saying “do this to be more manly.” And the fake one is saying “we love things that remind us of dicks.”
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u/Helmer-Bryd Mar 23 '23
Lol Murica is vild right now… wtf what going on over there, “moral panic”?
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u/B-Town-MusicMan Mar 23 '23
He misses how that vein feels on his tongue... reminds him of the good old days at his Frat house
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u/TurtleToast2 Mar 23 '23
They literally research what inspires the most interest and then say those things. That's it. Apparently, conservatives are really passionate about dick veins.
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u/stalphonzo Mar 23 '23
"As a teen, I can remember gently running my tongue up and down the dick vein, painting my mouth with smooth chocolate. Kids today will never experience that special joy."
Tucker Carlson
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u/workingtoward Mar 23 '23
As a gay guy who loves snickers, I will never think of it in the same way. I’ll struggle not to swallow it whole.
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u/StableAndSane Mar 23 '23
White conservatives who constantly make the effort to show their “straightness” are closet cases.
And the whole cuck calls are projection.
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u/LibKan Mar 23 '23
I mean, first they took away my candy waifu, then my candy husbando. What's next, they're gonna tell me I'm the weird one for looking at everything sexually?
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u/Enlightened-Beaver Mar 23 '23
How are you supposed to make love to the green m&m if your snickers doesn’t have a dick vein?
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u/LennyTheWeasel Mar 23 '23
I hate this fucking time line. You did this CERN! Fucking Hadron Colliders.
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u/TheBatmanIRL Mar 23 '23
Never would have thought the ripple on top was anything like a dick. Who thinks this shit up?
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u/TerminationClause Mar 23 '23
By the time I made it to the end, I had already forgotten how it started.
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u/carpetbagger001 Mar 23 '23
I have always thought they were meaningless decorations.
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u/ElizaPlume212 Mar 23 '23
They ARE meaningful when applied to individual chocolates. It's an industry practice to identify what's inside. I think it was originally to let the merchants know what was what. Not sure if they hoped customers would figure it out without poking a finger in the bottom.
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u/bigbronze Mar 23 '23
I get the humor. But honestly speaking, snickers don’t look right without that dick vain in it. It was a flavor trail.
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u/BabyFartzMcGeezak Mar 23 '23
Between this and the M&M losing her sexy attire this poor bastard will be forced into celibacy in no time.
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u/swipichone Mar 23 '23
First M&Ms now snickers What candy is Tucker going to confess about having a fetish for next 3 musketeers
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u/Snapingbolts Mar 23 '23
Whenever I see his headlines I'm just dumbfounded that he has one of if not the most watched "news" program in the US.
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u/3DartsIsToooMuch Mar 23 '23
It makes me sad that there are people who actually believe this is real.
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u/ZippyTheRat Mar 24 '23
It would explain why he puts his own hand on the back of his head and forces it to his mouth…
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u/No-Judgment-4424 Mar 24 '23
Holy fucking god. First he’s talking about the green m&m becoming less sexy, now he’s worried about a missing dick vein?
Tucker is not ok.
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u/JanTheShacoMain Mar 24 '23
Im just happy im not the only one who thought this looks like a dick :)
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u/Ming_the_Merciless77 Mar 24 '23
Oh come on, we all heard about the Snickers Dick vein, Or at least heard a joke about it! Lol. I absolutely can’t believe that actually made some kind of news show though! Lol don’t we have bigger shit going on?
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u/SporkOfThor Mar 24 '23
What kind of RESEARCH are they doing at Fox News?! HA HA HA HA HA. Research. That's a good one.
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u/golferdrummer Mar 24 '23
You know, I like snickers, and I’m a straight guy whose made a lot of dick jokes. I’ve never thought of that as a dick vein, and they’ve somehow made it political.
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u/pharsee Mar 24 '23
The guy has the charisma and ability to be a great broadcaster. And he has enough money he could leave Fox News. So why doesn't he stop doing a show full of lies and deceit and quit? Is it because he can't give up the fame of being on stage 5 nights a week?
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u/Hate_usernames2 Mar 24 '23
If this was real, the people canceling it would most likely be their own base due to the language used
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u/Holesinmyundies Mar 24 '23
Fox News is the most homoerotic media channel out there right now but sadly, without a shred of pride.
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u/ReleaseQuiet2428 Mar 24 '23
Foreign here: I check your news every day (both in formal channels and "satire" ones) and it have been really hard to tell aparte fake from true.
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Mar 24 '23
At this point I’m waiting for Tucker to just say my show was a parody the whole time. Nothing I said was how I really felt and I am a stupid man. Now he won’t say unless he is sued to oblivion. Which it’s looking like will happen with dominion.
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u/RTwhyNot Mar 24 '23
I can’t even tell if this is real or not. What a fucked up country we are living in here in the US.
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u/AvonDaRedditor Mar 24 '23
I’ve never heard someone talk about the Snickers dick vein before. Is that really what they call it?
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u/FreudoBaggage Mar 24 '23
Tucker just doesn’t like it because it doesn’t feel the same when he deep throats a Snickers now.
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u/slappy_mcslapenstein Mar 24 '23
This motherfucker had an obvious candy fetish. The fact that MAGATS take his word as the word of God is fucking hilarious. Brings a new meaning to the Hershey Highway.
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u/CRL10 Mar 24 '23
Considering this guy probably has inappropriate thoughts about the European Cadbury Bunny and the green M&M, I can see he'd be outraged about this.
Oh, he doesn't have inappropriate thoughts about the brown M&M, because he hates brown people.
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