r/movies Nov 30 '22 I'll Drink to That 1 Defeated 1 Facepalm 1 Confetti 1

Why Love Actually is not the heartwarming romcom you’re remembering Article

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/features/love-actually-netflix-cast-christmas-b2235347.html
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u/SearchContinues Nov 30 '22 Starry

The woman who ends up caring for her brother hits me hard in the feels every time. Caregivers often give up everything at the expense of their own future happiness.

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u/blahblahrasputan Nov 30 '22

I guess at some point her brother passes away and she moves to Chicago and has a family. They end up down in the Ozarks, apparently well respected members of the community.

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u/Peechez Nov 30 '22

You should uhh, finish watching Ozark

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u/agtk Nov 30 '22

Isn't that the joke

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u/scarves_and_miracles Nov 30 '22

Caregivers often give up everything at the expense of their own future happiness.

While the brother's behavior certainly did fuck up the moment, I didn't really understand why things had to end there for the two of them. Seems like they could've tried again and worked around that guy.

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u/pmac_red Dec 01 '22

Movies have these kind of illogical scenes because the intention of said scene isn't to show realistic character reactions to a situation, it's meant to be a metaphor.

The metaphor in this case being that caring for family members is emotional baggage that can impact ones romantic life. It doesn't really matter how the phone call and hook up go down. The point is to show that Sarah struggles in her romantic life like any would but understandably so because she continues to put her brothers needs before her own. Karl doesn't really matter as a character other than to be symbolic of the sacrifices she makes for her brother. That's why he doesn't have a lot of dialog or back story, he's just a gorgeous male character who exists to represent what she gives up.

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u/thisshortenough Nov 30 '22

It's meant to just be reflective of how their time together would actually go, it's just meant to be a microcosm.

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u/keykey_key Nov 30 '22

Well, she left Karl in the middle of foreplay to go to her brother. I don't think Karl really wanted to get into that baggage.

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u/Neuchacho Nov 30 '22

I always got the feeling from it that she basically gives up on the idea knowing she'll never actually extricate herself in a meaningful way as long as her brother is present.

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u/lankymjc Nov 30 '22

I got the feeling that Karl simply lost interest. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with her knowing that he'll always be second priority to her brother.

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u/Ilovegoodnugz Nov 30 '22

Fyi the guy she is in love with is king xerxes in 300 and Hector in west world

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u/Shotgunsamurai42 Nov 30 '22

I think you are forgetting his biggest role... Paulo on Lost.

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u/onlyhere15 Nov 30 '22

OMG HOW DID I NOT REALIZE

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u/TheCosmicFailure Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

It is. Its probably one of the best stories in the film. She has to give up her happiness to care for her brother.

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u/ihaveadarkedge Nov 30 '22

I think its Laura linney? She's fantastic in this role. I find her scenes the most heart breaking and to be quite honest, difficult to watch.

The cast, in whole, is amazing.

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u/epiphanette Nov 30 '22

Something about the way she calls him my darling is just so loaded with emotion. She packed a LOT of acting into a very few words in that scene.

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u/Varekai79 Dec 01 '22

She was filming Love Actually and Mystic River simultaneously, flying constantly between London and Boston. Talk about acting whiplash.

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u/KrabbyBoiz Nov 30 '22

I love reading IMDB trivia and evidently the director was looking for a long time for someone to play the role and wasn’t happy with the British actresses they were bringing and said something like “I want someone like Laura Linney”. And the casting director responded “well then why don’t we get Laura linney”.

Edit: found it.. Literally the first one lol.

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u/Icantevenhavemyname Nov 30 '22

This is the real take from that link though:

Kris Marshall returned his paycheck for the scene where the three American girls undress him. He said he had such a great time having three girls undress him for twenty-one takes that he was willing to do it for free, and thus returned his check for that.

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u/KrabbyBoiz Nov 30 '22

He is Colin “god of sex”.

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u/sarabeara12345678910 Nov 30 '22

And he's got a big KNOOOOBBBBB

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u/DefNotUnderrated Nov 30 '22

She didn't have to give her happiness up, though. Her story was tragic because she believed that she did but she didn't. It should never be considered a requirement that a person in her situation has to never have a life so they can be available to drop everything when their sibling calls. Her story drove me crazy because we're seeing her give up chances to be happy when she doesn't need to.

A support system that depends upon one person being at the forever beck and call of another is not a viable support.

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u/TheCosmicFailure Nov 30 '22

I agree. She didnt need to give it up. The problem is that I think she lost hope. When ppl lose hope they sometimes are blind to the Opportunities right in front if them.

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u/fireintolight Nov 30 '22

I mean she isn’t really a caregiver since her brother is full time in an assisted living facility. I always took her story as she’s sort of limiting her own life by being so immersed in it.

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u/jinxykatte Nov 30 '22

That plot line pisses me the fuck off. Like does the care home just let him call her 24/7, they are letting him utterly ruin her life.

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u/yeahyouknow25 Nov 30 '22

This is true. But I also looked at it as a way for her to avoid intimacy, using her brother as an excuse so she doesn’t have to get close to anyone. She strikes me as someone who’s been through a lot — especially if she’s the main caretaker for her brother.

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u/TasteofPaste Nov 30 '22

If she’s the main caretaker — it probably means her parents are dead.

She’s still very much a young adult, so they passed early. She’s all alone except for that brother.

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u/ilikemycoffeealatte Dec 01 '22

She mentioned that to Karl. "With our parents being gone and us being over here, I'm all he's got."

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u/butt_butt_butt_butt_ Nov 30 '22

Gotta agree with you, but I blame her just as much as the care team. Nobody is setting realistic boundaries for him or making a plan that doesn’t involve her providing 24/7 emotional support.

I’m sure his carers don’t appreciate when she doesn’t pick up immediately and he becomes so dysregulated that they have to put him in a safety hold.

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u/11GTStang Nov 30 '22

Just rewatched this the other night and I agree. Why isn't he on some better psych meds? It isn't like he is home alone and at risk for self harm if she doesn't answer. He's in a safe facility with 24/7 supervision which would allow her to hook up with the coworker.

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u/BigE429 Nov 30 '22

"Oh no, he's having another meltdown. Better have him call the sister and let her handle it instead of the trained professionals here."

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u/cthaehtouched Nov 30 '22 Silver

“So if you believe in Father Christmas, children, like your Uncle Billy does, buy my festering turd of a record. And particularly enjoy the incredible crassness of the moment when we try to squeeze an extra syllable into the fourth line.”

Billy Mack and his relationship is my favorite.

This is not a movie about functional relationships. It’s not perfect, but sometimes it has an earnestness and is damn hilarious.

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u/Elcamina Nov 30 '22

Remember not to buy drugs kids, become a pop star and they give them to you for free!!

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u/wagamamalullaby Nov 30 '22

Best line in the film

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u/Zeeky47 Nov 30 '22

Absolutely classic, I always love that part and how the actors as hosts play the “oooooookay thanks Uncle Billy!” As they would in real life. Makes me think of when Kanye said “George Bush hates black people” and Mike Myers is like yooooooooooo

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u/Varekai79 Dec 01 '22

They're not actors. They are Ant & Dec, who are basically the British version of Ryan Seacrest.

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u/LlamaDrama007 Nov 30 '22

Ant or Dec

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u/Majestic_Magazine_79 Nov 30 '22

"Good question, Ant and/or Dec"

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u/jaderust Nov 30 '22

His love confession to his manager is perfect too. They might not be romantically together, but they're the most important people in one another's lives so it's important that they're together for the holidays.

That still hits me hard. Not all love is about sex.

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u/neerrccoo Nov 30 '22

That’s the whole premise. It’s showing all types of love

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u/duaneap Nov 30 '22

The majority of which aren’t really about sex at all. Lots of parental love, obviously. The kid’s first crush is just that, hardly sexual. Even the porn stand ins, it’s about really wholesome affection.

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u/cthaehtouched Nov 30 '22

It’s weird how over this century we’ve drifted towards narrower definitions of love. The ancient Greeks had 7 types of love and only Eros is explicitly sexual.

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u/ExperienceLoss Nov 30 '22

Such a small word to hold such a large feeling

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u/-HappyLady- Nov 30 '22

In this article, the author says something like “obviously everyone wanted Billy and his manager to get together.” I was just like…fucking what mate? No.

If anything, I might have enjoyed Colin deciding he was gay.

But no, author of this article. Not all affection is sexual. Get your life together.

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u/duaneap Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

Bill Nighy has had a pretty great career but I have to say that’s my favourite part he’s ever played.

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u/Hungry-Teach9938 Nov 30 '22

Somebody watched the ABC special last night and decided, "not today Love Actually, not today"

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u/lankeymarlon Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22 Gold Helpful Giggle I'll Drink to That You Dropped This

The new Christmas tradition, seeing an article about how bad 'Love Actually' is:

2020 - The Case Against Love Actually - Vox

2019 - The Most Toxic Romantic Comedies of All Time, from Love Actually to While You Were Sleeping - Stylist

2018 - 6 Awful Things You Might Have Overlooked in Love Actually - Insider

2018 - 14 Reasons Why Love Actually Isn't That Good - Cosmopolitan

2013 - Love Actually is the Least Romantic Film of All Time - The Atlantic

2013 - I Rewatched Love Actually and Am Here to Ruin It for All of You - Jezebel

2010 - 6 Romantic Movie Gestures That Can Get You Prison Time - Cracked

EDIT: If you find others, post them below and I'll add them to the list.

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u/GerryofSanDiego Nov 30 '22

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u/jimmparker4 Nov 30 '22

I love seeing an old Cracked article out here in the wild

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u/mr_ji Nov 30 '22

Before the descent became a full-on plummet

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u/mastercotcot Nov 30 '22

Man it was a daily visit for me at one point, RIP.

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u/trapperberry Nov 30 '22

I failed multiple classes due to not studying and reading Cracked. Thanks Soren and Daniel O’Brien.

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u/LankyBastardo Dec 01 '22

Have you listened to their podcast yet? It's just two friends chatting and making jokes, it's fun.

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u/ExplodingDiceChucker Nov 30 '22

If you don't watch Cody Johnston's Some More News (produced by Katy Stoll) you're doing yourself a huge disservice.

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u/Ver3232 Nov 30 '22

Or listen to Robert Evans’ podcast Behind the Bastards. Both are great and he has Katie and Cody on as guests from time to time

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u/Space_Pirate_Roberts Nov 30 '22

The three of them had a podcast together for a long time too called Worst Year Ever, but they stopped several months ago; guess they decided 2022 just kinda sucks. :p

Also, let’s shout out Michael Swaim’s Small Beans and Adam Todd Brown’s Unpopular Opinion while we’re at it.

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u/BattleStag17 Nov 30 '22

Are they related to the old Cracked? I'm watching their video on moral panics right now lol

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u/unverifiedscrobbler1 Nov 30 '22

Cody used to work there. I don't recall Katy working there, although it been so long since I visited Cracked and I could be wrong.

Also, for anyone interested Dan O'Brien and Soren Bowie have a podcast together and it's worth checking out. It's called Quick Question with Soren and Daniel.

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u/Educational-Warthog2 Nov 30 '22

So does Robert Evan’s “behind the Bastards”

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u/unverifiedscrobbler1 Nov 30 '22

I didn't know that!

I'm so glad that the contributors of the Golden Age of Cracked are flourishing.

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u/Rhowryn Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

Katy was in quite a bit of their video content at the time, most notably the original After Hours. Just what I recall could have been more.

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u/unverifiedscrobbler1 Nov 30 '22

I think After Hours was Katie Willert.

I did double check, because I remembered that she was in something and it was an episode of Today's Topic about Labyrinth.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '22

Man Cracked was the first website I went to every day as a kid.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '22

[deleted]

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u/bob1689321 Nov 30 '22

Cracked was my gateway to Reddit tbh. Really fun pop culture/weird history articles and a great commenter community.

What did you used to do there??

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u/jimmparker4 Nov 30 '22

You worked there? That's awesome. What did you do?

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u/bob1689321 Nov 30 '22

inb4 he was the cursed Title Guy

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u/Freyr_Tuck Nov 30 '22

Fuckin’ Title Guy! I haven’t heard that name in years.

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u/nicolasknight Nov 30 '22

Don't forget the after hours episode that listed too.

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u/CrazyInLouvre Nov 30 '22

2010 was truly Cracked's Golden Age (for the website, anyway)

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u/grandmothertoon Nov 30 '22

It's very en vogue to Well Actually Love Actually these days.

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u/Outside-Occasion-39 Nov 30 '22

Feels like the take internet is long overdue for the "Actually, Love Actually Is Good" backlash-backlash (frontlash?)

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u/drphungky Nov 30 '22

Love Actually IS actually good. The whole point is that not all the relationships are healthy. They're all the various ways we talk about love - puppy love, unrequited love, lust, familial love, bromance, new love, growing to love, workplace romance, recovering from love...like half of them are temporary stages or inherently unhealthy or unequal and that's the point.

Every time I see a takedown of this movie it's like I'm listening to a 14 year old explain why actually, Holden Caulfield is really annoying. That's the point.

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u/EmmitSan Nov 30 '22

Yes. This is right up there with:

  • ACTUALLY Starship Troopers is a parody
  • ACTUALLY Jenny is a horrible person (as if Zemekis did not know or intend her to be; she’s a classic “victim that turns around and becomes a predator because that’s how every role model she ever had behaved”)
  • ACTUALLY Fight Club is a social commentary about capitalism
  • ACTUALLY (insert film about two hetero males) is really just a rom com where the dudes are the protagonists!

Etc

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u/ATNinja Nov 30 '22

What are you talking about? Catcher in the rye is the anthem to my life. I listen to the audio book on original vinyl whenever life gets me down.

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u/ThePhonyKing Nov 30 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

I watched it for the first time 2 years ago. Stayed away from it for years because I thought it looked like contrived romantic nonsense. And it totally is contrived romantic nonsense but I totally ****ing loved it. Same goes for Curtis' other feature, About Time.

Read the article posted. The movie wasn't terribly well recieved if you look at RT ratings, because it definitely favors grand gestures over plot, but judging a 2003 film for not being as inclusive or progressive as a 2020s film is just a stupid take with no real critical merit.

I loved it, though. To me, "Love, Actually" follows the Kubrickian theory that a film should be more like music than literature. The film has a fantastic flow to it and it's grand gestures drive home the feels which is what this movie is all about. I can see how this may not work for some, though. Are all the relationships or variations of love healthy? Absolutely not, but that's the point isn't it? Love is still love even when it's unhealthy.

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u/BrockStar92 Nov 30 '22

Curtis’ other feature

Curtis’ OTHER feature?? That’s what he’s known for is it, just Love Actually and About Time? Not Four Weddings and a Funeral, Notting Hill, Bridget Jones’ Diary…

(And the man wrote Blackadder, Mr Bean and the Vicar of Dibley on TV as well for goodness sake)

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u/clever_user_name__ Nov 30 '22

You've just made me realise why I've always thought,

"British romcoms tend to be a bit more real and messy, and the absurdity is in the events more than in the characters, which makes them far less corny and a lot more fun. Feels more like real people just going through life (some in less 'real' circumstances than others)."

I've literally just had all of his movies in mind when thinking that lmao. I never pay attention to directors (probably should). This is so funny to me. I'm an idiot. Good thing I never shared my thoughts with anyone lmao.

Gotta remember that director now; turns out I'm a fan!

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u/Corona21 Nov 30 '22

Hey we are all on r/movies to learn these things right?!

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u/TheLaughingMannofRed Nov 30 '22

Traditions that exist:

Debating suffering through another A Christmas Story 24-hour marathon

Debating if Die Hard is a Christmas movie or not

Debating if Love Actually is or isn't the kind of holiday rom-com people expect it to be

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u/Imaybetoooldforthis Nov 30 '22

You forgot debating if Baby it’s cold outside is incredibly problematic.

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u/InnovativeFarmer Nov 30 '22

Baby Its Cold Outside could be "playing coy, beg me to stay" or "how many different ways can I say I want to leave, let me go".

Santa Baby cant be about anything else than wanting to invaginate Santa's candy cane.

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u/Lucky-Surround-1756 Nov 30 '22

I always assumed that the husband had dressed up as Santa Claus and the wife was saying "what am i getting for Christmas, I've been a really naughty girl?"

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u/v0idL1ght Nov 30 '22

I mean she literally asks him to propose with a ring at the end, so yeah some kind of lover.

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u/CNXQDRFS Nov 30 '22

I'm definitely going to use "invaginate" more often.

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u/InnovativeFarmer Nov 30 '22

I learned it in Bio 101. The professor kept saying.

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u/sunsecrets Nov 30 '22

Bro you gotta get that 2013 Jezebel one in the lineup.

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u/Torque-A Nov 30 '22

The r/movies triumvirate, along with “we really need to ask, are Disney movies getting overrated?” and “that movie you watched when you were 12 was truly an unsung gem”

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u/JB-from-ATL Nov 30 '22

"Is (new Disney movie) overrated?"

"(Disney movie from your childhood) is underrated."

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u/tbbHNC89 Nov 30 '22

"Did you guys know Grease is about a woman completely changing herself for a man? Noone ever talks about that"

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u/Klamageddon Nov 30 '22

I read an "actually" about grease, that I... Actually... Found interesting.

It was saying how, the whole thing is supposed to be sending up those kinds of movies, how it's like a meta commentary fantasy. How normally the woman changes the 'bad boy' to a nice guy, but that doesn't happen, how normally anyone shown to be promiscuous gets punished, but there's zero repercussions in Grease, and then at the end, the car takes off and flies away with no explanation, the whole thing as a big 'fuck you' to the formula.

I have no idea if that's a good take or even a hot take, because I fucking hate the movie and find every frame objectionable, but it was a take I'd never heard.

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u/AshleyBanksHitSingle Dec 01 '22

This is absolutely what Grease was intentionally doing. The whole thing was a send-up of the Beach Blanket Bingo type movie that had been popular in the 50s and it was completely hysterical and well-done.

I’m always shocked when people say they don’t like Grease.

The other thing is that the claim that Sandy changes but Danny doesn’t is idiotic. She dressed different for an hour and took a drag from a cigarette. He lettered in a varsity sport after trying several others and basically stopped spending time with his whole friend group. He committed to change and she made a small, shallow change in appearance for a day.

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u/Watcher0363 Nov 30 '22

Find popular film, dump on it with sensational headline. Get those angry clicks, get those hell yeah clicks. A click is a click.

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u/Pirateless Nov 30 '22

Or get a not so popular film from 30 years ago and say why we need to celebrate it now or how relevant it is. Movie journalism is bipolar

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u/Qualityhams Nov 30 '22 Silver

Finally it’s my time to shine. A Little Princess is a forgotten cinematic masterpiece.

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u/_Silly_Wizard_ Nov 30 '22

Geez Louise the internet is terrible

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u/Gordon_Gano Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22 Silver

There’s a sorta like weird social thing now where the person who points out something ‘problematic’ first, wins. I don’t know what they win exactly - status, an endorphin rush, feeling better and more socially aware than their peers - but they do win. And so these articles must be produced so nervous 20-somethings without a great sense of identity need never risk showing up at a party unarmed.

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u/braverthanweare Nov 30 '22

I will never forgive professor Snape for cheating on processor trelawney

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u/TurnsTheLightsaber Dec 01 '22

Yeah, should have stayed on the same mainboard.

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u/bigedthebad Nov 30 '22 Silver

I never saw it as a rom com. It is a pretty good examination of lots of the various types of love and relationships. Yes, it has some rom com elements but they aren’t all happy endings.

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u/danteheehaw Nov 30 '22

I thought it was a comedy based around fucked up romances. As in the intent was they were fucked up and broken relationships.

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u/GirlsCallMeMatty Nov 30 '22

Except for the writer and the maid. His previous relationship was fucked (brother sleeping with wife) but man is that specific plot line super romantic and adorable.

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u/exsanguinator1 Nov 30 '22

I thought the one where they pretended to bang was cute in a weird way, too. They have a weird job, but they just had a good talk and enjoyed each other’s company

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u/ResidingAt42 Nov 30 '22

Finally got a shag!

Naughty!

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u/Spank86 Nov 30 '22

You guys are all forgetting the greatest love story of them all.

Billy Mack and Joe.

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u/MossCoveredLog Nov 30 '22

A bromance for the ages

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u/funkyb Nov 30 '22

They're amazing. When he gets so excited about their first kiss it's cute as hell.

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u/skucera Nov 30 '22

This is why I love the movie. You have so many levels of love story, and it actually treats most of them in a close-to-reality manner. The most far-fetched is the PM knocking on doors all down a street to find his crush, but at least that's cute.

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u/Naohiro-son-Kalak Nov 30 '22

I mean it's Hugh Grant, he could spend the entire movie staring straight ahead at the screen while motionless and we'd all still find it adorable...

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u/Elcamina Nov 30 '22

Billy Mack and his manager also had a heartwarming ending! Even if it was more of a familial love.

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u/Sothotheroth Nov 30 '22

Love story and romance are not necessarily synonyms. Stephen King’s Fairy Tale is a love story for a boy and his dog and is in no way a romance.

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u/BulbasaurCPA Nov 30 '22

I love baby Martin Freeman in that

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u/Jimid41 Nov 30 '22

I saw the edited for TV version first and was wondering why he was only in one scene at the very end that had zero context for him being there.

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u/Buddy_Dakota Nov 30 '22

The scene that got it an R-rating in the US, while the rest of the world has it at like 7+

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u/MrBicepcurl Nov 30 '22

Lol what the hell😆

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u/407dollars Nov 30 '22

We had a bootleg copy growing up that had completely cut that entire plot line. I didn’t know until like 5 years later that he was in the movie.

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u/Sptsjunkie Nov 30 '22

Yeah, some of the individual couple stories are "rom com," but the movie as a whole is an examination of different types of relationships around Christmas.

I mean, it's more of a Christmas movie than a rom com.

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u/Spazzrico Nov 30 '22

Just in cases.

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u/JediTigger Nov 30 '22

Si, claro.

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u/LlamaDrama007 Nov 30 '22

Sometimes, things are so transparency.

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u/Landlubber77 Nov 30 '22

Be careful not to disturb the eels.

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u/LlamaDrama007 Nov 30 '22

Oh god, what was that?!

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u/delightfulcrab Nov 30 '22 Kiss

ahh this gave me chills. god I love this movie.

eff the haters.

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u/hendy846 Nov 30 '22

I say this all the time and still no one has caught it.

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u/marie-90210 Nov 30 '22

My husband reminds that some people may have not seen the movie. They might thing I am illiterate. I don’t care. I love that line.

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u/neondino Nov 30 '22

Yes is being my answer.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '22

I wouldn’t say it was a fucked relationship but deciding you are in love with someone and proposing to them when you’ve never had an actual conversation seems a bit dysfunctional lol

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u/MelodyMaster5656 Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

Or the dad and son, or the totally not porn actors. The relationships get broken down more here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCtW4hgm9SM

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u/MagnificentJake Nov 30 '22

They weren't porn actors iirc, they were stand-ins.

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u/Basil-the-Bat-Lord Nov 30 '22

Yeah, you’re right, they were body doubles for the “real” actors!

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u/ScarletCaptain Nov 30 '22

They're not porn actors they're body doubles for a sex scene so the real actors don't have to be naked,

It took me years to figure that one out. Arthur Dent Watson Bilbo Martin Freeman says at one point he was "doubling for Tom Cruise."

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u/wtf_are_selinux Nov 30 '22

Kind of concerns me how many people can't distinguish portrayal and endorsement at the moment. God help them if they ever take a trip to the library lol

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u/M0dusPwnens Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

I think most of them can distinguish - they are just heavily incentivized to pretend not to be able to.

"Why Love Actually is not the heartwarming romcom you’re remembering" is one of the top posts on reddit today.

"Why Love Actually is an okay movie portraying a variety of romances, some positive and some negative" is never going to be the top post. If you write things like that, you're going to be looking for a new job pretty soon.

Casting it all as endorsement means that you can dunk on it. Extra points if it's something popular. Bonus multiplier if it's about something people love to hate, like, say, a genre of film typically aimed at women.

It's not like most of the people upvoting this actually read it.

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u/Ok_Television_9348 Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

My take was a little less pessimistic. Each story was about a different type of love—between sexual lovers, soulmates, friends, their kids, etc. Not necessarily all about the couples themselves. Each story highlighted something positive about that kind of love to me. The writer of the article totally missed the intent I believe and just summarizes and criticizes the plot.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '22

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u/disignore Nov 30 '22

The rom-com vibe is given by Hugh Grant, mostly bc at the time he was poster boy for rom-coms.

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u/flatterlr Nov 30 '22

Even the title tells you that they're trying to subvert the various rom-com tropes-- this isn't your run of the mill rom-com, it's Love, Actually (what show were they trying to figure out what the title meant for this movie??? lol).

Everything creepy, awkward, messy, and uncomfortable is a feature, not a bug.

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u/sweetplantveal Nov 30 '22

I think the author went too hard on their thesis and is willingly ignorant of evidence that doesn't make it shine.

When Colin Firth is treated differently from the hot lady, that's a little bit for the view and a lot bit meta commentary and a laugh at Colin's character's expense. The 'not on the same page' misunderstanding tropes played out in a comically absurd situation.

Alan Rickman isn't just forgiven after cheating (ambiguous in the film, confirmed in interviews) and things like him not helping with the kids are meant to be another aspect of his shortcomings that we examine. Not the anti feminist thing the author interpreted.

And the most egregiously obvious satire is Colin going to America. Wisconsin in particular. Elisha Cuthbert was probably THE it girl at the time. It's meant to make fun of socially clumsy dots like Colin, who look anywhere but within for why people don't like them. Who think of women as half human half object, etc. How the author could have misread that character arc makes me think they're intentionally 'not getting it'.

It's frustrating because there are really good points, like how fucking creepy the wedding video and fake carolers were for example...

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u/KingofCraigland Nov 30 '22

There's cheating and the destruction of a marriage, unrequited love between a woman and her husband's best friend, and a case of choosing family over romance, just off the top of my head. It's so much more than a rom-com.

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u/Bank_Gothic Nov 30 '22

The platonic love between the aging rock star and his manager. I liked that one quite a bit as well.

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u/fakepostman Nov 30 '22

Which this annoying article insists should be turned into a gay relationship for the sequel

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u/Galvon Nov 30 '22

They actually killed off the manager in the Red Nose Day special because Gregor Fisher wasn't able/willing to make an appearance, so that won't be happening most likely.

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u/Friendofthegarden Nov 30 '22 Silver Helpful Ally Eureka!

Anyone else see it as a heartwarming rom com? I thought it was more a dram com centered around relationships. Not the fairy tale version of love, but love...actually.

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u/cdark_ Nov 30 '22

Bingo

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u/wait_what_how_do_I Dec 01 '22

They should call the movie that.

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u/Social-Introvert Nov 30 '22

This comment is better than the entire article OP posted

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u/BitterJD Nov 30 '22 Silver Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

Is't the point of the movie that this is ACTUALLY what love looks like, instead of a heartwarming rom com you're used to? The most pure love in the film is the woman with the disabled brother and the family coming together for the school play... isn't the point of that that familial love is the constant?

I swear it doesn't take a BFA to understand this stuff.

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u/hoginlly Nov 30 '22

Yeah, and Emma Thompson pushing her heartbreak aside to be happy and strong for her kids… good god, don’t think anyone could count that story as a feel-good rom com…!

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u/ag_96 Nov 30 '22

Emma Thompson’s story is just unbelievably heartbreaking to me, especially when you know that her ex-husband Kenneth Branagh had publicly cheated on her with Helena Bonham Carter a few years earlier. I can imagine she drew from a lot of emotions she had in her own life.

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u/the_cucumber Nov 30 '22

WHAT I didn't know about any of that!!!??

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u/SomeCountryFriedBS Nov 30 '22

Hogwarts just full of drama, innit?

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u/jaderust Nov 30 '22

Oh yeah. With the implication at the end that she and Alan Rickman are either trying to fix their marriage, but have a way to go, or they're divorced but making the best of it when she meets him at the airport at the end.

There's no great declaration of wrongdoing or happy ending in that story. And while they don't go into how they're moving forward it's clear he's not entirely forgiven and they're trying to do their best with each other.

It's realistic, but not a rom-com ending for their story.

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u/Gellao Nov 30 '22

A few times I've had to point out how bad what he does is because people only see it directly compared to say... the writer who's brother is sleeping with his wife or whatever happens with Keira Knightly.

The emotional affair he has in that isn't some "oh he stopped before anything happened." happy ending.

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u/Jaffacakelover Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

I thought someone like Richard Curtis confirmed on Twitter that it got physical. Something about how the girls bedsheets are rumpled while she's shown trying on the necklace.

EDIT: Nothing about the bedsheets, but: "DEFINITELY had an affair. i begged richard just to make it a flirtation, but no. the whole way."

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u/fizzymilk Nov 30 '22

I want the cut where we see Alan Rickman make guilty fuck

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u/bruzie Nov 30 '22

And that's why you watch Love, Actually and Die Hard back-to-back at Christmas - just so you can watch Rickman get his come-uppance for cheating on her.

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u/OnsetOfMSet Nov 30 '22

All fun and games till his wife hits him with a "Yippee ki yay"

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u/eyeseayoupea Nov 30 '22

And then Hitchhiker's Guide where he's turned into a depressed robot.

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u/Bcnlennontomato Nov 30 '22

I think the point is that love… ACTUALLY is all around. I feel it in my fingahs!

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u/cdark_ Nov 30 '22

I feel it in mah tows

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u/JustAnotherAlgo Nov 30 '22

LOVE ...CHRISTMAS is all around us!

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u/TryinToDoBetter Nov 30 '22

Fat Manager: 😃

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u/GarbageThrown Nov 30 '22

I’ve only seen it once, but my takeaway was that it was showing several different kinds of love. When you think about what the film is all about (and arguably life), the answer can only be the grand unifying theme of Love. Not necessarily to show what love is actually like as if there are no other kinds of love. Just showing how some different kinds of love can be.

Everyone sees it through their own lens. I knew a girl who thought that the storyline about the brother in the mental hospital sucked because it was about the sister failing to love the hot coworker. She couldn’t understand the perspective that the enduring love the sister had for her brother trumped her infatuation.

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u/quantic56d Nov 30 '22

Gotta get those clicks.

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u/A40 Nov 30 '22

It's heartwarming, sad, devastating, funny, tragic, nostalgic, silly, serious...

It's exactly as I remember it, and I'll watch it again this Christmastime.

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u/irgendwo_anders Nov 30 '22

Basically Christmas, with heartwarming added.

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u/bluejester12 Nov 30 '22

" “I have a plan,” he declares. “Girls love musicians.” So he decides to learn to play the drums....Why not try talking to her instead of just admiring her from afar? "

Because we don't think we're good enough. That's how we think sometimes especially when we're young.

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u/jedi_trey Nov 30 '22

Exactly, the article says he tries to "make her like him"

But how? By changing himself for the better. He doesn't try to trick her, or put her down to bring himself up. He practices day and night to get good at something she is interested in so she will notice him. Is it a little misguided? Sure. But in no way this misogynistic scheme they make it sound like

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u/Medium_Medium Nov 30 '22

Not to mention they end up in the band together. It's 100% possible that she likes him because they have spent time together.

The author of this article makes it sound like the singer falls for him upon seeing him for the first time at the concert.

Which is more likely... a guy who can't play the drums yet spends months playing the drums alone in his room and the teacher just trusts he'll be able to do it the night of the big show... or that they got together once or twice to rehearse and make sure everyone knows what they are doing? She (the singer) clearly knows who he is... probably because he took up an activity that enabled them to get to know eachother!

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u/Croemato Nov 30 '22

I always took it that she already knew about him and liked him but he was so in his own head that he couldn't see it and had convinced himself she didn't even know he existed.

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u/questionernow Nov 30 '22

It's literally an article designed to get clicks. No one involved believes it. The author doesn't. The editor doesn't.

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u/jaderust Nov 30 '22

It was a cute scene. He was working so hard to impress her even though he didn't need to do it.

What was weirder was that it turned out he was a masterful gymnast able to flip his way through the airport to say goodbye. That was a bit out of left-field.

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u/lankymjc Nov 30 '22

It's almost as if joining in with your prospective partner's hobby is a normal and healthy way to get to know them. Spending time with people in a non-threatening environment is an excellent way to build relationships of all kinds.

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u/Dleach02 Nov 30 '22

Lol… my wife watches this movie every year, without fail, when wrapping Christmas presents.

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u/TooKaytoFelder Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

Yeah it’s got all kinds of weird stuff but it’s fun and cathartic and entertaining. Prime minister is literally running around the city trying to get laid. British dude walks into a bar in Milwaukee and runs into 3 super models that are out of their mind horny among other bizarre things but who cares?

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u/Moron14 Nov 30 '22

God of Sex walks into a bar, you mean

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u/righteous_fool Nov 30 '22

Colin Frissle... sex god!

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u/crewfish13 Nov 30 '22

And he’s got a big knob!

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u/Spazzrico Nov 30 '22

I've heard he's got a big knob!

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u/devilish_enchilada Nov 30 '22 Silver

I watch this movie every year as a single grown man

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u/TooHardToChoosePG Nov 30 '22

Mine puts this on, and spends the evening decorating the tree.

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u/tyrefire2001 Nov 30 '22

I don’t give a shit. It’s a terrible film and I absolutely love it and I will watch it every Christmas.

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u/FredVIII-DFH Nov 30 '22

I always thought of it as a critique of rom-coms.

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u/Dottsterisk Nov 30 '22

It’s almost as if the movie, while very funny IMO and being generally uplifting, is about all types of relationships.

Love is involved in all of them, but the point of the film is to see a bunch of different people and different relationships, as they all look for different things and some stumble and some succeed.

Some of the characters betray their love, others have shallow views of what love is. Some lose love and some find love. Some are discovering love for the first time and some are rediscovering it.

It’s not a revelation; it’s the fucking movie.

EDIT: Had a kneejerk reaction and commented before reading the article, which is actually more about the male gaze in film. But I stand by the sentiment.

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u/Jyran Nov 30 '22

Wait, are you telling me it's how Love is........ Actually?

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u/OuiselCat Nov 30 '22

Love, actually, is all around us

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u/MandoDoughMan Nov 30 '22

I feel it in my fingers

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u/MC_Queen Nov 30 '22

I feel it in my toes.

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u/2hats4bats Nov 30 '22

Oh fuck bugger shit ass in a hole!

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u/hokie47 Nov 30 '22

Not this again.

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u/thvnderfvck Nov 30 '22

"few films look as embarrassingly out-of-step with modern feminism as Love Actually."

Those idiots that wrote this film should have totally considered what feminism was going to be in 20 years before they released this stinker.

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u/dmccrostie Nov 30 '22

Cool. Now do Hallmark.

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u/Top_Gun8 Nov 30 '22

The name is literally Love Actually. As in real love isn’t a fairytale. As a matter of fact, it’s not always romantic. It shows many different instances of this and ultimately, that you should spend the holidays with the ones you love, whatever form that love takes.

And Christmas is all around is a banger

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